• Don’t promote yourself.
• Don’t name drop.
• Don’t remind people of their humble origins.
• Don’t boast about what you have.
• Don’t snoop.
• Don’t treat servants badly.
• Don’t use a knife or a spoon when a fork will suffice.
• Don’t use the word “mansion.”
• Don’t ask someone their name, introduce yourself first.
• Don’t call a professional or business person by first name unless you’ve been asked to do so.
• Don’t use the title “Sir” with anyone of equal age and status, unless you don’t know his name.
• Don’t address a waiter as “Sir.”
• Don’t mumble.
• Don’t smell bad.
• Don’t wear cologne to cover the fact you haven’t bathed.
• Don’t ask people if they remember you, introduce yourself.
• Don’t say “Pleased to meet ya’!”
• Don’t finish other people’s sentences.
• Don’t contradict.
• Don’t steal another woman’s husband.
• Don’t turn your glass upside down, if you don’t want to drink.
• Don’t blow your nose or pick your nail or teeth in public.
• Don’t forget to polish your shoes and boots.
• Don’t slouch.
• Don’t stare.
• Don’t point.
• Don’t scratch or rub any part of your body.
• Don’t bolt without notice.
• Don’t brown-nose superiors.
• Don’t shake hands with a woman until she offers her hand.
• Don’t sit with your chair resting on the back legs.
• Don’t be self-conscious.
• Don’t talk about your illnesses unless asked.
• Don’t crack a joke at someone else’s expense.
• Don’t interrupt.
• Don’t bring up religious or political issues to be hostile.
• Don’t keep looking at your watch.
• Don’t talk in a high shrill voice.
• Don’t drop final consonants.
• Don’t use the word lady when you mean wife.
• Don’t call women and men girls and boys if they vote.
• Don’t say “yeh” for yes.
• Don’t say between “you and I.”
• Don’t announce that you’re “stuffed” or “through eating.”
• Don’t misuse the words lady and gentleman.
• Don’t scold family or employees in front of others.
• Don’t order people around.
• Don’t give unsolicited advice.
• Don’t make dates you don’t intend to keep.
• Don’t worry abut how you look during sex.
• Don’t ever stalk a woman.
• Don’t ever chase a man.
• Don’t drink too much because you’ll stay too long.
• Don’t bore people by talking about your last golf game.
• Don’t break a date if something better comes along.
• Don’t be a tease.
• Don’t bad mouth your rival.
• Don’t bad mouth your ex-employer or ex-spouse.
• Don’t nag.
• Don’t stiff people who work for you or wait on you.
• Don’t rest elbows or hands on the table.
• Don’t have different manners for different people.
• Don’t double dip your chip or veggie in a dip.
• Don’t say “Remember me?”
• Don’t give unusual names to children, you may not like the nicknames.
• Don’t marry a man you think you can change.
• Don’t act like a loser.
• Don’t split infinitives.
• Don’t tell people what you’re not going to do.
• Don’t tell people what you would have done.
• Don’t get so big you forget where you come from.
• Don’t waste time comparing yourself to others.
• Don’t ask other people to do things for you that you can do yourself.
• Don’t worry about things out of your control.
• Don’t pretend you know something you don’t.
• Don’t say you know someone you don’t really know.
• Don’t use the truth to hurt someone.
• Don’t ask the host who else will be at the party.
• Don’t discuss family money or problems in public.
• Don’t tip staff at a private club.
• Don’t over set a dinner table to show off your treasures.
• Don’t stand up if you’re being toasted.
• Don’t use a toothpick at the table.
• Don’t lay used flatware on the table.
• Don’t take a drink if you have food in your mouth.
• Don’t ever bring up someone’s weight unless asked for advice.
• Don’t go after a taxi another person has hailed.
• Don’t rise to the bait.
• Don’t lecture.
• Don’t send a store bought card instead of a personal note.
• Don’t make the punishment harsher than the crime.
• Don’t punish your children for the same addictions you have.
• Don’t leave a party without thanking your host.
• Don’t have a limp handshake.
• Don’t shake hands for longer than three seconds.
• Don’t talk with food in your mouth.
• Don’t talk on a cell phone in public in a confined space----restaurant, bus, church, theater, elevator, airplane.
• Don’t assume everyone shares your social, political or religious views.
• Don’t make racial or homophobic remarks.
• Don’t bed another club member’s spouse.
• Don’t lean into your plate at the dinner table.
• Don’t fold your napkin to make it look unused.
• Don’t forget that you’re in charge of your life.
• Don’t chew with your mouth open.
• Don’t chew gum at social gatherings.

© 2008 All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact didi@newportmanners.com