Do I sound like a prude but isn’t it a turn-off when a text or email signs off with kisses? It seems vacuously emotionally incontinent. Some weird challenge. If she ends a text XXXX do I have to match her XXXX to show I feel the same way? And if I don’t feel like giving her four kisses and only type two XX or three XXX will she feel stung? What are the consequences of not matching kiss for kiss? For me XXX is the common definition of highly pornographic material, so it makes me laugh. And the widely used XXOO in Chinese slang means sex.
–R.E., Palo Alto, CA
There is a sexual tinge to XXXX and Xxoo, etc. A sexual-textual message of course has a Freudian curse that lots of us fall prey to, the “texter’s curse.” If you don’t like the XXXX, do your own thing. Such as, ‘Kind regards,’ KR.
How about using BBS (be back soon), BBL (be back later), TTYL (talk to you later), LMTA (like minds think alike), KOTC (kiss on the cheek), LUL (love you lots) or FYF (from your friend). Instead of taking the X challenge, be creative — especially if you want to gently lower the recipient’s expectations.
Actually, understanding when and how to end a text or email dialogue is a tricky social skill. You don’t want to be abrupt, but it doesn’t have to be smooth to be cool.
When you wish to end the conversation, say you have something to do — but spare us the details. When not talking business, be the one to end the conversation before it becomes boring. Timing is everything.
Often closing a text dialogue is more effective than continuing it. Instead of XXX, try BBS.
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Accepting A Compliment