Frequently Asked Questions
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing 2 Drs.
Q How do I address a wedding invitation to a married couple who are both doctors?
A If a married couple are both doctors, you have two choices as to how the envelope might be addressed: The Drs. Smith, or Dr. George Smith and Dr. Caroline Smith.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing a Doctor and Her Husband
Q What is the proper way to address a formal invitation to a married couple where the woman is a doctor and man is not?
A For a formal invitation, you would address a doctor and her husband as Dr. Alice Adams and Mr. John Adams.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing a Judge and Her Guest
Q How do I address a wedding invitation to a judge and her guest?
A As you would never address an invitation to a person "and Guest," you will have to telephone the judge or her assistant to ask if Judge so-and-so has an escort she would like to have invited? Then you would send a separate invitation to the escort. The address on the outside envelope to the judge would be: Judge Alice Adams. On the inside envelope, if you are using one, would be: Judge Adams.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing a Lesbian Couple
Q If you are inviting a lesbian couple who live together, how do you address the invitation?
A If the women live together in a committed relationship, you would link their names with the word "and." You would address the names alphabetically. If there is not enough space on the envelope to write both names on one line, you would put the first on the top line with the word "and" after it and list the second name on the second line, such as this:
Ms. Amanda J. Anderson and
Ms. Elizabeth R. Cartright
address
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing a Nun
Q How do I address an envelope to a nun for a wedding invitation? I know about the outside envelope, but do I include "and guest", or "companion", or what? or just leave it blank on the inside envelope?
A If you are using Jane Brown, R.S.C.J., on the outside envelope, then on the inside envelope it might be "Sister Brown and Guest." If you are using Sister Margaret Annunciata on the outside envelope, the inside envelope might read, "Sister Margaret Annunciata and Guest." Just because you are inviting her to bring a guest does not mean that she will bring a guest, it means you are giving her the option.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing a Reverend + Her Wife
Q We have legally married lesbian friends, how should an invitation be addressed in this situation? To make things more tricky, one is a Rev.
A The person with the title always goes first and it does not matter whether the two women have hyphenated their last name or use one common last name. So: the envelope might be addressed to:
The Reverend Jane Doe and Ms. Charlotte Doe.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing a Senior
Q Do I address a formal wedding invitation to Mr. James Allen Wood, senior, when the junior son is grown and lives in another town and is not invited to the wedding? Do I write, senior lowercase as you would junior?
A You would not use "senior" or "junior." Only when the father and son live in the same town would you use "Sr." after the father's last name. It would be Mr. James Allen Wood, Sr., if residing in the same community.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing a State Senator and Her Husband
Q How does one properly address a wedding invitation to a married couple if the woman is a state legislator?
A Socially, it would be:
State Senator Margaret Dickens and Mr. Charles Dickens
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing Escort, Place + Table Cards
Q I am addressing wedding invitations. Oustide envelope is Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, inside envelope is Mr. and Mrs. Smith. How do I address the table cards, not place cards, table cards? Also, I have both male doctors, female doctors, male judges and female judges. How do I address the table cards? They are associates, not friends. Do I address table cards for friends and relatives in a more informal way than associates?? This is a white tie affair. Thanks. Jane
A For a formal event, only the surname is on the escort, table, or place card. You would address them the same. Although, nowadays, more and more, the first and the last name are used on these cards to help people learn their dinner partner's first name. You might do a combination of titles and surnames and first names with last names, when the person is a great friend. So: you would use Mr. and Mrs. Smith, if there is just one Smith family attending, otherwise you would use Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. Or if they are doctors, The Drs. Smith, or Dr. John Smith and Dr. Jane Smith. If they are judges, Judge John Smith and Judge Jane Smith. If only one is a judge, Judge Smith and Mr. Smith. If only one of the couple is a doctor, Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. Smith.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing Ex-Governors + Judges
Q How do I address a wedding invitation to a former governor and his wife? He is in business now and has been out of office for 10 years. Also, how do I address a retired judge and is the type of judge significant to the title addressed? Thank you
A A former governor and his wife would be addressed on the outside envelope of a wedding invitation (sometimes there is an inside envelope, too.) as: The Honorable Nelson A. Rockefeller and Mrs. Rockefeller. Governors carry the title "The Honorable" throughout their lives, as do all judges of the courts no matter if they are The Chief Justice of the Supreme Court or an associate justice.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing Inside Envelope
Q What are the rules for addressing wedding invitations? Where can I find the proper format for inside envelopes? Should they be the same formal name as on the outside envelope or can they be first names, Aunt______and Uncle_____, etc?
A The outside envelope has the full name and address of the recipient(s). The inside envelope drops the given name and the address, as in: Mr. and Mrs. Doe. If Mr. and Mrs. John Doe's children, who are under the age of eighteen, are also being invited, then their first names only would be written underneath the parents' on the inside envelope only:
Mr. and Mrs. Doe
George, Robert and Amanda
Any children eighteen or older would have their own invitation and the outside envelope would read: "Mr. George Doe" and his full address. The inside envelope would just say, "Mr. Doe." If you wish to invite Mr. Doe to bring a guest, then on the inside envelope you would drop the given name and address and write, "Mr. Doe and Guest."
There is nothing wrong with addressing the inside envelope "Aunt Betty and Uncle Tom." Formal invitations usually have inside envelopes that are addressed formally; informal invitations usually do not have inside envelopes. Using "Aunt Betty and Uncle Tom" might seem a bit informal on an inside envelope, but it is your choice. There is no etiquette police or rules written in stone; however, you might want to stay with being consistent to one style or the other.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing Inside Envelope
Q On the inside envelopes of wedding invitations can we address it to Aunt Joan and Uncle Lewis instead of Mr. and Mrs. Smith?
A If you are following style, you might want to be consistent. If you are following formal style with a second envelope, the second envelope would indeed say Mr. and Mrs. Smith, whereas the outside card had the full name Mr. and Mrs. James Dickens Smith.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing Invitation to All Adults in Household
Q Grandparents, uncle,and 2 aunts all live together. Can ONE wedding invitation be sent to all or must it be individually? If one invitation, what is correct order on envelopes? Thank you
A The grandparents would receive one envelope addressed to them as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. If either of the aunts is married to the uncle, then they would have their own invitation to Mr. and Mrs. John Doe, II, and the second aunt would have her envelope addressed just to her. There is no correct order because they are all separate envelopes. Anyone over the age of eighteen receives their own wedding invitations. The only exception is when two people are married, then and only then are envelopes addressed to two adults.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing Invitations
Q How do I address a wedding invitation to a widow? How do I address a wedding invitation when inviting the children as well ?
A If the widow has not remarried and is not using her married name, you would address the wedding invitation to Mrs. Charles Dickens, because she still has the same name as she had before her husband died.
When including children under the age of eighteen, you would only list their names on the second envelope. So, the envelope inside the stamped envelope would say: Mr. and Mrs. Dickens, and then under the that you would list Alice, Louis, and Winston.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing Invitations
Q Is it acceptable to type addresses on wedding invitation envelopes, or should they be hand written?
A The envelopes for invitations look beautiful when they are handwritten. Even if your handwriting is not perfect, not to worry, nothing is worse than an invitation with a type-printed label. Lots of people toss out anything with a type-printed label if they can't immediately identify the return type- printed label because they think it is junk mail.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing Invitations Informally
Q If I don't want to address my wedding invitations formally, i.e. Mr. and Mrs. John Doe, what are my other options?
A Alternatively, you might address your wedding invitations informally like this:
On the outer envelope or on a single envelope:
John and Jane Doe
or
John Doe and Jane Brown
On the inside envelope:
John and Jane
or
Jane and John
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing Place Cards
Q How do you address place cards on a wedding reception table?
A At a formal wedding, the place cards would have the individual's name on his or her place card; therefore "Mrs. Doe" and "Mr. Doe" would have two separate place cards. You would only use "Mrs. John Doe" or "Mr. John Doe," if there was another couple attending the wedding reception with the same last name. If the current and the former Mrs. Doe were both in attendance, then their first names would be used, as in "Mrs. Jane Doe" and "Mrs. Caroline Doe." Mrs. Doe's daughter would be "Miss Doe," if she is under eighteen, or "Ms. Doe" if she is older. Mrs. Doe's son if he is under eighteen, is "Master Doe." If he is over eighteen, he is "Mr. Doe." If his father is not expected and he is over eighteen he is "Mr. Doe." He is "Mr. George Doe," if his father is expected.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing the Couple Before the Wedding
Q What is the proper way to address greeting card to my cousin who is getting married? Her name is Marie and her husband to be is Charles Squires. Should I address the card to Mr. and Mrs. Squires or to Marie and Charles or ??
A Until they are wed legally, she is still Ms. Maiden Name.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing Unmarried Couple Who Goes First
Q When addressing a wedding invitation to a couple not married, whose name goes first, the woman's or the man's?
A I am a big fan of "Ladies First"; however, nowadays, the person addressing the envelope writes the name of the person that they know best first and the second person's name comes next.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing Women
Q I was taught when I was younger that when addressing women, the use of Miss was used for an unmaried woman, the use of Mrs. for a married woman, and Ms. for a divorced woman. Is this correct? I have several woman that may attend a wedding whom I am addressing invitations for and need to know, thanks.
A Actually, as "Ms." becomes more and more an acceptable form of address, "Miss" sounds more and more old-fashioned. "Miss" is used in addressing girls up to the age of eighteen, then they become "Ms." The exception might be a very formal wedding invitation that would be addressed to Miss Jane Doe, no matter her age, only because a formal invitation follows the most formal code of address. So: if your invitation is very formal reflecting the formality of the wedding, then how the envelopes are addressed inside and out, reflects that formality, too. So: women up to the age of eighteen would be addressed on the outside envelope as "Miss"; however, if the invitation is addressed to her parents, then just her given name, Jane, would appear on the inside envelope underneath Mr. and Mrs. Doe. A single woman of undetermined age would me addressed as Miss Jane Wilson Doe on the outside and Miss Doe on the inside envelope. A divorced woman would be addressed as Mrs. Jane Wilson Doe on the outside envelope and Mrs. Doe on the inside envelope. However, if you know that Mrs. Jane Wilson Doe prefers to be called Mrs. Wilson Stuart Doe or Ms. Jane Wilson Doe, then respect here preference and use what she calls herself.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing: A Recent Widow
Q Unless I missed it, I didn't see this one. A woman is very recently widowed (two weeks). I am sending her a wedding invite this week. Does the address remain as "Mr. & Mrs. Doe"? Or, because she is a widow, do I just have "Mrs. Doe"? I would not want to offend her or dishonor her late husband. So I need your guidance on this. Thank you!
A The widow continues to be addressed as Mrs. John Doe until she remarries or by choice drops the John and calls herself Mrs. Jane Doe. You would not be offending her or dishonoring her late husband by not inviting him, too. In fact, it would be a faux pas if you invited him knowing that he died.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing: Dr. and Her Coast Guard Lieutenant Husband
Q How do you address a wedding invitation envelope to a married female doctor whose husband is a lieutenant in the Coast Guard? The woman took the husband's last name. Which titled person comes first?
A Coast Guard officers are addressed as "Mr." up to the rank of lieutenant commander, so he is "Mr." and she is "Dr." Since "Dr." outranks "Mr.," you would address the wedding invitation envelope this way:
Dr. Alice Shakespeare and Mr. William Shakespeare
address
If both names do not fit nicely on the same line, it would be:
Dr. Alice Shakespeare and
Mr. William Shakespeare
address
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing: Parents with Different Names + Their Children
Q How do you address an invitation when the wife keeps a hyphenated last name --- Mr. John Smith, Mrs. Amy Kern-Smith, and children?
A How you address the invitation depends upon whether you have an inside envelope as well as an outer envelope. If there is one envelope for the invitation, you would write the wife's name first like this:
Mrs. Amy Kern-Smith and
Mr. John L. Smith
address
If you are also inviting their children, you would list the children's first names on the inside envelope under their parents like this:
Mrs. Kern-Smith and Mr. Smith
Miss Anna, Master Jack and Ms. Miranda
Girls under the age of eighteen are addressed as Miss, over they are addressed as Ms. Boys ten years and younger are addressed as Master. If there is no inside envelope, then on the upper left-hand corner of the invitation you would hand-write just the first names of the invitees:
Amy, John, Anna, Jack, and Miranda
By specifically listing the first names of the children you are inviting, you can eliminate younger children whom you cannot accommodate, say, baby Ted, who is two years old. This way you are making it crystal-clear that children under six years of age who require special food, seating, or supervision are not being invited to the reception.
Wedding Etiquette: Addressing: Women as Miss or Ms.
Q I am addressing envelopes for a wedding. I have some female friends above the age of 25 who are single. Should I use, "Miss" or "Ms." when writing the address? When does a lady become a "Ms."? Thank you for your help!
A When a women turns eighteen, she is no longer addressed as Miss, but as Ms. So, in fact, you would address all of your female friends who are eighteen years of age and older as Ms.
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